Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

The "F1" Reviews Are In - Dark Horizons

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

What are some cute stories with your crush?

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I actually pay taxes

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I gave him everything. He said he loved me. Why?

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I understand how hurricane paths work

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

What can melt your heart?

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I don’t cotton to rapists

Trump administration prepares to ease big bank rules - Politico

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I have complete contempt for fakery

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

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I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I can count

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

What is the funniest joke you've been told that you still think about to this day?

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I have a reading level above third grade

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I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

What are Chinese hot pot restaurants? What do they serve, and why is it so popular in China?

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

HSBC’s Mark Tucker to return to insurer AIA as chair - Financial Times

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

Methane-eating sea spiders discovered off Southern California coast - SFGATE

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

Existing PS Plus Members Using Clever Trick to Get a Discount - PlayStation LifeStyle

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

Jeff Bezos and Lauren Sanchez to spotlight Venice's artisanal heritage during upcoming nuptials - AP News

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

Why do entitled people demand that I pick up after my doggo when he goes to the bathroom? Do they not know that doggy doo decomposes & feeds the plants?

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I don’t buy bullshit

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I see through liars

I can read